Chicago librarian Henry De Tamble suffers from a rare genetic disorder that causes him to drift uncontrollably back and forth through time.

let’s just set aside the whole aspect of a, ahem, genetic disorder that bends the space-time continuum just around one person, and focus on this guy’s job for a second. he’s a LIBRARIAN. isn’t that a pretty time sensitive job? so what happens when time travel is introduced to a librarian?

“sir your book is due… before it was published??”
“we cannot accept this boulder with your name etched in it as your library card.”
“the library will be closing in 10 minutes due to skynet becoming self-aware.”

I just read the the whole plot summary on the wiki entry. oh my god. I simply can’t link it here, I can’t let you read it. just don’t waste another second thinking about this book/movie and you’ll thank me (in the future).

8/31 UPDATE!

so as you may have heard there’s been an a-team remake in the works. a lot of these kinds of news are just rumors or the project never gets off the ground, but when liam neeson’s name gets attached to play hannibal you’re kind of forced to take it seriously. bradley cooper is set to play face.

I haven’t seen anything about murdock or BA, but the latter role ought to be a bitch to fill. who can pull off mr t? apparently the movie is going to have a more serious tone than a campy one, but either way I can’t think of anybody to fit the bill… I already pity the fool have sympathy for the actor who will inevitably be unfairly compared to the iconic mr t.

as for murdock I think jim carrey might be good, but then again he’s just too big to be in an ensemble piece at this point in his career. you just can’t have an a-team movie with murdock getting top billing. so.

the hollywood-80’s remakes-factory is unstoppable, so much so that bitching about unoriginal scripts has become tiresome. in the spirit of “if ya can’t beat ‘em” I’ve taken up a new hobby of Lets Think Of What Hollywood Will Remake Next. here’s one:

…a remake of the 80’s boy-meets-mermaid romantic comedy splash starring paul rudd playing the tom hanks role and taylor swift (in her first major film debut) in the mermaid suit.

thoughts?

a commercial for a women’s exercise tool made to look like, well, softcore.

a casting call for the karate kid remake was released recently and this is what it had to say about the story line:

er, ok, so it’s called the karate kid but they are aware it’s kung fu that the kid is being taught…?

no word yet on what they’re looking for in terms of the kais but I nominate bolo yeung for the john kreese role.

as you may know there’s a dragonball movie coming out this summer. let me just say I grew up with the original manga series and you can count me among the group of moviegoers who’ll conveniently miss this in the theaters.

I came across this clip today and wanted to share it with you.

what the fuck? why is that old dude using the crane kick? seriously?? it didn’t work against chozen in karate kid part 2, why the fuck would it work against piccolo (who evidently can crush a house with a dramatic hand gesture)??

in somewhat related news, jaden smith will not do the crane kick in the karate kid remake produced by his dad.

I was taking the train home last night, listening to my ipod when a lady started talking to me.

“are you listening to music?” she asked.

“yes. yes I am,” I replied.

“you can get that even when we’re underground?” she asked.

“oh… yeah, this isn’t a radio. it’s an ipod,” I said, holding up what clearly looks like a 5th generation ipod (black).

“so you can get music even when we’re underground then?” she followed-up.

“yes.”

this woman wasn’t ancient, she looked to be in her 40s so it was a little bit unusual for her to not know what a portal recorded music listening device was. and not to be mean, but to be kind of mean, I’d like to state that according to wiki the first cassette-based walkman went on sale in 1979.

steven spielberg and will smith are in talks for an oldboy remake. this was reported on variety so it holds a little more water than your standard internet rumor mill… but. really? oldboy? I’m surprised spielberg, or even smith, is even considering doing oldboy. have they even seen it? it’s not a PG-13 summer blockbuster-type story! it’s got to be teetering on NC-17 to come close to the original imagery! why can’t they leave asian classics alone?

hey at least justin lin had the sense to walk away from it. but will these two have that sense?

then again scorcese never watched infernal affairs before doing the departed and we all know what happened next.

UPDATE: upon will smith’s string-pulling, the co-writer for I am legend will be writing the screenplay for this remake. great.

have you heard? microsoft applied for a patent on a real-time censor of audio streams and it recently went through. it’s supposed to recognize naughty words and mangle/bleep them in real-time as it passes through the system.

it’s intended for tv and radio broadcasts, like in interviews with… people with tourettes? andrew from top chef chicago?

this technology can get way out of hand. not just in terms of our own privacy, but the scariest thing is that we’ll no longer have awesome moments like these.

so I hadn’t mentioned this yet, but principal photography for megaman finally ended in early september. we shot for SEVEN MONTHS on this thing.

immediately following megaman I started working on a new project the eaters. it’s a feature-length film about a band on the run from zombies, trying to get from brooklyn to long island. it’s a great script and has a very tight cast, and I enjoy working on this film a lot.

but so here’s where the irony comes in. like I mentioned we shot megaman for SEVEN FUCKING MONTHS. megaman is a sci-fi action film and there was TONS of fighting involved. I came out of it without a scratch.

yesterday, on the set of the eaters, I was about to go up a small flight of stairs when I somehow lost my balance and fell off the first step — which was like 1/4 the height of a normal step — and sprained the living CRAP out of my ankle.

what the fuck.

update: it’s not a sprain, it’s a CUBOID FRACTURE. it’s a rare thing to happen apparently, and I’m finding a real hard time finding a good resource on it online (other than people with this fracture posting on forums). anyway, there’s your update.

that’s all I gotta say.