steven spielberg and will smith are in talks for an oldboy remake. this was reported on variety so it holds a little more water than your standard internet rumor mill… but. really? oldboy? I’m surprised spielberg, or even smith, is even considering doing oldboy. have they even seen it? it’s not a PG-13 summer blockbuster-type story! it’s got to be teetering on NC-17 to come close to the original imagery! why can’t they leave asian classics alone?

hey at least justin lin had the sense to walk away from it. but will these two have that sense?

then again scorcese never watched infernal affairs before doing the departed and we all know what happened next.

UPDATE: upon will smith’s string-pulling, the co-writer for I am legend will be writing the screenplay for this remake. great.

I hear people confusing the two all the time and it drives me absolutely fucking bonkers, to the point where I make a point to correct the person. I have become That Guy.

let me make it absolutely easy for you:

> direct flight means it’s probably gonna make a stop somewhere along the way.

> non-stop flight means exactly that: it’s not going to make a stop somewhere along the way.

there.

are you serious? will smith is going to direct a remake of the karate kid with his son playing daniel larusso?

kill me please.

EXT. CHINATOWN - OUTSIDE OF NEW GREEN BO RESTAURANT - NIGHT

AJ, wearing an orange t-shirt and a black hoodie as his sole contribution for Halloween, waits for his take-out order of zha jiang mian outside New Green Bo restaurant in Chinatown. He is approached by a young couple who are clearly out-of-towners.

AJ is taken aback by this question. He wonders to himself, is he on Punk’d? These people really don’t know the difference between Chinese and Japanese food? He stares at the two of them for a few awkward moments.

CLOSE UP - AJ

A quick montage of random people asking for sushi in Chinatown. The store owners all shrug or shake their head no.

WIDE SHOT - OUTSIDE OF NEW GREEN BO RESTAURANT

AJ is giving directions with plenty of hand gestures. As the couple scurries away in their search for raw fish we see AJ shaking his head ever so disapprovingly. Just then, he is motioned inside the restaurant to pick up his order.

FADE TO BLACK.

I came across this brilliant blog today. it’s run by a chinese-born engineering student in the midwest who breaks down photos of chinese character tattoos.

good times.