Chicago librarian Henry De Tamble suffers from a rare genetic disorder that causes him to drift uncontrollably back and forth through time.

let’s just set aside the whole aspect of a, ahem, genetic disorder that bends the space-time continuum just around one person, and focus on this guy’s job for a second. he’s a LIBRARIAN. isn’t that a pretty time sensitive job? so what happens when time travel is introduced to a librarian?

“sir your book is due… before it was published??”
“we cannot accept this boulder with your name etched in it as your library card.”
“the library will be closing in 10 minutes due to skynet becoming self-aware.”

I just read the the whole plot summary on the wiki entry. oh my god. I simply can’t link it here, I can’t let you read it. just don’t waste another second thinking about this book/movie and you’ll thank me (in the future).

8/31 UPDATE!

so as you may have heard there’s been an a-team remake in the works. a lot of these kinds of news are just rumors or the project never gets off the ground, but when liam neeson’s name gets attached to play hannibal you’re kind of forced to take it seriously. bradley cooper is set to play face.

I haven’t seen anything about murdock or BA, but the latter role ought to be a bitch to fill. who can pull off mr t? apparently the movie is going to have a more serious tone than a campy one, but either way I can’t think of anybody to fit the bill… I already pity the fool have sympathy for the actor who will inevitably be unfairly compared to the iconic mr t.

as for murdock I think jim carrey might be good, but then again he’s just too big to be in an ensemble piece at this point in his career. you just can’t have an a-team movie with murdock getting top billing. so.

the hollywood-80’s remakes-factory is unstoppable, so much so that bitching about unoriginal scripts has become tiresome. in the spirit of “if ya can’t beat ‘em” I’ve taken up a new hobby of Lets Think Of What Hollywood Will Remake Next. here’s one:

…a remake of the 80’s boy-meets-mermaid romantic comedy splash starring paul rudd playing the tom hanks role and taylor swift (in her first major film debut) in the mermaid suit.

thoughts?

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ipod, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
5. Have Fun!

note: I included a running commentary for a larf.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?

The Action Index [Orchid] Huh? Boy, we’re off to a good start.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Nebraska Bricks [Saves the Day] My allergies are hitting me like a ton of bricks.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?

Interruptions [Peanut Butter Wolf] I do talk out of turn sometimes.

WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?

I Wish I Was A Motown Star [The Clifford Gilberto Rhythm Combination] I don’t.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

A Farewell To A Perfect Score [7 Angels 7 Plagues] “I’ll put this pitcher of iced tea right here on top of the… OH NO, OH GOD I’M SO SORRY.”

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Rocky Rococo [Cap'n Jazz] Do they know what that means? Do I know what that means?

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Dead [Pixies] Whoa.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Sunflower Princess [Refused] Quit yer damn whining, best friend!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Yeah, No… I Know… [Boys Night Out] This is pretty much spot on.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

We’re The Seniors - And We Rule The School [Excuse 17] So who wants to eat chimichangas next year?

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

The Last Place You Look [The Get Up Kids] Where you at, girl?

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Factory Direct [All-Time Quarterback] What a lo-fi wedding this must be.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Afloat [Brittle Stars] A viking burial does sound nice.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

I Used To Hate Cell Phones But Now I Hate Car Accidents [Norma Jean] I do enjoy hating on things.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

Breaking [Northern Picture Library] Every robot’s nightmare.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Well Damn, If We All Ate The Berries We Might As Well Die Together [Comadre] I fear I have said too much.

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?

Strawberry Girl [Talulah Gosh] Where you at, girl?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Farewell Forever [Trembling Blue Stars] So long, suckers!

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Stop Start Again [Cobra Kai] You’ll probably work on this over the course of the day.

for those who weren’t aware, project runway packed up and left bravo for lifetime.

so in an ironic twist, bravo was given a task (much like the weekly challenges on project runway) of quickly throwing together a fashion reality show and what they hastily stitched together was the fashion show. it premiered tonight.

there’s only so many things you can try to do differently with this format, so it’s perfectly fine that this show is very much like its predecessor. but in many ways project runway is the hotter, well put-together older sister to the awkward younger sister fashion show going through puberty. project runway’s execution is just more elegant while the fashion show seemed too intent on doing anything to differentiate itself. I’m certain the fashion show will find its niche and come into its own but that’s not going to happen overnight.

but let’s talk about the “you’re fired” equivalent for this show… are you ready? it’s we’re not buying it. uh, are you KIDDING me? you’re sending someone home with THAT?

a casting call for the karate kid remake was released recently and this is what it had to say about the story line:

er, ok, so it’s called the karate kid but they are aware it’s kung fu that the kid is being taught…?

no word yet on what they’re looking for in terms of the kais but I nominate bolo yeung for the john kreese role.

I was taking the train home last night, listening to my ipod when a lady started talking to me.

“are you listening to music?” she asked.

“yes. yes I am,” I replied.

“you can get that even when we’re underground?” she asked.

“oh… yeah, this isn’t a radio. it’s an ipod,” I said, holding up what clearly looks like a 5th generation ipod (black).

“so you can get music even when we’re underground then?” she followed-up.

“yes.”

this woman wasn’t ancient, she looked to be in her 40s so it was a little bit unusual for her to not know what a portal recorded music listening device was. and not to be mean, but to be kind of mean, I’d like to state that according to wiki the first cassette-based walkman went on sale in 1979.

…kansas really handed it to memphis. even when they were down they pretty much had control of the game

I was grabbing a quick bite at woorijip today when over the PA I heard something that can only be described as korean belle & sebastian. the dude sounded perfectly wussy-like just like what’s-his-face.

jesus.

so I had this theory that virgin megastore cashiers were putting ads specifically to hide brokeback dvd’s from showing through their semi see-through plastic bags.

well, yesterday I went and got ellie parker and they did the same thing.

I went to virgin at union square to pick up brokeback mountain today. if you’ve shopped at virgin you know they have these semi see-through plastic bags to put your purchases in.

when the cashier was putting the dvd in the bag I noticed she was slipping in some flyers or whatever, but it wasn’t until I was heading out the door that she had put numerous copies of the same ad on either sides of the dvd so you couldn’t see what was in the bag. was this because it was brokeback mountain?

what in the.