I am hereby officially declaring may 18th as national Shake Your Keyboard Upside down day.

step 1: confirm the day is indeed may 18th
step 2: locate a trash bin (important)
step 3: turn your keyboard upside down and shake vigorously over trash bin
step 4: watch in horror of all the disgusting morsels spilling out of your keyboard
step 5: wait till next year

any questions?

so yesterday marked the second time I had to smoke in a film. but this time around I had a little more coaching from friends who smoke and I think I might have pulled it off.

I haven’t seen what it looks like, but no one pointed out to me that it looked “non-smokerish” so that’s good. I also didn’t tell anyone on the set I was a non-smoker, so maybe they weren’t looking for faults?

at least this time around the cigs were ultra lights. the first time I had to work with a pack of fucking marby reds. fuck.

so it’s like seriously 90-something degrees these days. hot, muggy, sticky, life-draining. so I had that going for me when I went to my kung fu class the other day: my class is held at this medium-sized studio in a fifth-floor walk-up in chinatown.

air conditioning? fuh-huck no.

so in the blazing heat and no a/c and only HOT TEA (!) to drink I had my work out. needless to say I was pretty goddamn thirsty when I stumbled out of those five floors of stairs back down to ground level.

I made my way to one of the non-descript chinese grocery stores (as there are many in … chinatown) and went straight for the drinks fridge. I grabbed the biggest thing I could find, which happened to be a tall orange can.

PAPAYA MILK, it said. 24oz of milk, papaya, (some chemical), (some other chemical), and (the last thing listed in the ingredients list). for $1. it could either be AWESOME or THE FUCKING WORST THING EVER. why not?

I pop the thing open. it’s filled with this milky orange substance, as expected. first sip…

… inconclusive. I can’t decide if this stuff is good or horrible. keep drinking…

… the stuff has that fruity pungent smell, as expected of something with papaya in it. let’s keep drinking…

… I just don’t know about this. I may be leaning towards it being “gross”. but I’ve come too far to go back now (over half the can is gone by this point). gulp gulp…

… ok, wait, surely this stuff isn’t made of REAL milk. look at the label: MILK. not powdered milk or some sort of parmalat-like super shelflife milk. I dunno why, but I keep drinking (about 80% of the can is gone by this point)…

… ok, let’s look at the back of the can. maybe it’s made real close by so it wouldn’t have been sitting on the shelf for too long. towards the bottom of the can:

MADE IN TAIWAN. OH MY GOD.

two sweet hook-ups from today:

(a) my boss got us a bag of double-stuff oreos for no apparent reason. on a positive note, I found my limit on how many I can eat before I reach the Vomit Limit.

(b) a co-worker somehow had the new weezer album that’s due to come out in mid-may. I got that shit on my iTunes now and it’s going alright so far. there are some songs on there that totally take you back to the blue album, and there are some that totally take you down some weird alley in a shady part of town that you’d like to forget. forget the new hit they got playing on the radio (beverly hills?). speaking of, is it me does that song totally remind you of steve miller’s the joker?