the third and final presidential debate, also known as 大統領候補討論会 in japan, is airing tonight at 9pm.

…which is also when the season finale of project runway season 5 airs.

america, you have to make a very tough decision tonight. and then in a few weeks you’ll make a very easy decision.

the media is going phelps-crazy, and hey I’m rooting for him just like everybody else, but let’s not forget america sends two swimmers for each event. that means for each event michael phelps swims in there’s another american gunning for the gold.

it bothered me when the nbc sideline/pooldeck reporter woman asked jason lezak (who swam the final leg of the unforgettable 4×100 freestyle relay) how he felt to be a part of olympic history by helping michael phelps go for mark spitz’s record.

you know what, lady? this guy spent his entire life to get where he is. he busted his ass for HIMSELF and HIS COUNTRY. you don’t think he would have swum just as fast had phelps not been in the running for the record?

and what IF an american competitor edges out phelps in a race? will he be congratulated as he should, or will he be seen as the guy who prevented phelps from acheiving the record?

phelps is visibly uncomfortable whenever he’s asked about his “quest” for the record. it’s obviously on the back of his mind but any sensible athlete would tell you they don’t like to look ahead and definitely not TALK about what’s ahead.

I know the media is just trying to sell more advertising, shoving phelps into the spotlight to feed the hype machine.

but let’s not forget there are other swimmers in beijing chasing their dreams.

are you serious? will smith is going to direct a remake of the karate kid with his son playing daniel larusso?

kill me please.

everybody knows I’m a huge fan of takeru kobayashi and his dominance in the arena of competitive eating.

so then everybody would know what a sad day it is, not just for me but for the world of competitive eating, that it’s looking unlikely he’ll be able to continue to compete.

Japan’s all-star speed eater suffers professional injury

do I really want to see 28 weeks later? while weighing into the pros and cons it became another conversation about indie vs major.

28 days was shot on video, on a much lower budget and it just looked so raw. 28 weeks, based on the trailer, looks completely slick and polished (as it should with big studio budgets). scenes of fighter jets dropping bombs on the city? what the fuck? who turned this into a michael bay movie?

though… in the end I think I’ll go to see it anyway. wake me up when 28 years later comes to theaters (infected robots, perhaps?).

so tonight I noticed this weird finance charge on my credit card bill. it was only for $1.44 but what the fuck, I’m not gonna give these fuckers any more than I spend on their behalf. I pay off the entire balance every month and the only reason I carry anything over is because I may send my payment in like a day late or something.

so I called the fuckers up (had to navigate a goddamn labyrinth of pushing one button after another to speak to a human) and asked what this $1.44 was all about. evidently this lady was given a script that told me the only way to get rid of it was to pay for it (what? fuck you, lady!) and I kept asking her HOW it got on there.

after about 10 minutes of an absolute standstill she finally conceded. she must have noticed in my records that I’ve had this card since NINETEEN EIGHTY NINE (1989). I’ve had this damn card for almost 18 years, son! woman you better step DOWN.

so yeah, she is waiving the $1.44.

victory.

I had to rush my ass over to the office a little earlier than usual today - I had to make sure this one minisite launched exactly 9:00 on the motherfucking dot. it’s not significantly earlier than when I normally come into the office but I noticed a significant difference in the stress levels of my fellow commuters.

one example: one lady had her head down and came barrelling up the stairs — on the wrong side, nearly smacking right into me not knowing she certainly was not the only human being using the stairs at that moment.

another example: some older businessman-type brushed up/bumped into another at a street corner and damn near started a fist fight. a fist fight! the dude literally raised his fist and barked “you wanna do something about it?!” — jesus christ.

was it because it’s a monday?
was it because it’s a little earlier than I care to be at work?

I don’t know, but I’m sure as hell hitting that snooze a few times tomorrow.

yeah so I got a new phone on a new service. it’s got all these great reviews but everyone’s having a bitch of a time hearing what I’m saying! I can hear everyone fine though.

am I holding it all funky? and YES - I removed the little plastic.

so what the fuck? I have a week or so to take it back if I want to exchange it. or learn how to hold this thing right, because evidently I sounded clearly ONCE.

dear joey,

I just watched the the 3rd annual krystal square off on espn2. an 8 minute race to see who can eat the most krystal burgers? how awesome is that?

I think you’re great for the sport of competitive eating. you are the first competitor to get kobayashi going — we haven’t seen him get psyched up for competition in years and these days he’s really bringing his A game. if it weren’t for you he would not have eclipsed his previous world record like he did today. (ps- spoiler alert. oops, too late. sorry mike.)

but you really have to do something about your attitude. you are coming off as a really, really, really, really ungracious loser. it’s not even in a cool antagonistic way, your post-game comments are almost always “I’m still young, I haven’t been doing this for very long, one day I’ll beat kobayashi.” before the contest you got this cocky game face on, and when it’s over it’s this bitter grimace. fucking congratulate a guy who is hands down the top competitive eater in the world, will ya? you could barely keep down the last few hamburgers while kobayashi was still knocking those things back with a smile. ever see footages of muhammad ali prancing around the ring while his opponent would be wheezing and on his last legs? it’s like that. the gap between you and kobayashi is still huge, and you need to accept that.

the american fans aren’t going to root for you just because you’re american — as evidenced by the entire room cheering “kobe! kobe!” while you were struggling to prevent a “reversal of fortune.” accept defeat from a world champion, learn from it, and train for the next event.

don’t be a sour puss. you’re making it hard for the audience to cheer for you.

sincerely,

-aj naito

…and the world team is represented by none other than japan. HELL YES.

so, so pumped. I’ll be sure to sneak peeks at the game during my ghostbusters shoot tomorrow (yes, that’s still going on).