what do I have in common with the bush twins, christina applegate, joe dimaggio, ricardo montalban, jfk jr, and pope john xxiii?

remember about a week ago I was telling you about my experiences at the license x-press?

well I got my brand spanking new driver’s license in the mail yesterday! a nice surprise was that my picture isn’t total shit, which I’m pretty happy about.

fucking hell, from start to finish I renewed my license in 8 days and 18 minutes (what?).

it was a simple plan, really. go to the grocery store to pick up blueberries so I can make blueberry pancakes in the morning. that’s all I really needed.

instead I futzed around all morning (although some freelance work was involved) and ended up going much later than I wanted. on top of that, I didn’t eat anything all morning so I went to the store hungry.

what happened? I ended up getting all these snack items and enough chicken thighs (oooh, dark meat) to last me a few weeks. I get home and it wasn’t until now I realized I didn’t get the blueberries.

so make a mental note: grocery shopping with an empty stomach makes you lose focus but gain plenty of snacks and chicken thighs.

episode 2… was a good episode, I just seem to have forgotten that the early goings are there to separate the wheat from the chaff. we saw continued excellence from My Main Man Steffan (”MMMS”) and the other european fabio, who, by the way, are hilarious together. they totally look down upon the americans but rightfully so – at least at this point in the season where they are clearly demonstrating dominance over the others. but there were also some serious trainwrecks by the chaffs.

and now for my thoughts that contain SPOILERS. don’t highlight the boxes if you don’t want to know what happened.

what the hell is jill’s deal? if he/she would have stuck up for his/her dish, or had he/she done more than shrug at the judges, he/she would probably still be on the show. but instead ariane got to stick around despite his/her dish causing a top chef first (?) of padma having to spit out the food.

but it was sad to see ariane back in the stewing room post-elimination, apologizing to jill crying “I don’t deserve to be here.” I think his/her days are seriously numbered… hey let’s not forget he/she has a zagat-rated restaurant back home.

I don’t know when it’s coming to the states but the yip man movie is opening in china in mid-december. this is a biographical movie about yip man, played by none other than donnie yen.

for those who aren’t familiar with yip man, he was a master of wing chun kung fu who is famous for having taught bruce lee.

check out this BTS clip via twitch.com:

and the hot-ass trailer:

it’s the latest internet sensation.

yeah, it’s a live webcam of shiba inu puppies that are ~6 weeks old. I believe they are at the breeder’s place right now, waiting to get old enough so they can leave the litter and go to new homes.

when I first heard about this I was a little suspicious about whether these pups were at a puppy mill, but it appears the owners have good intentions.

so yeah, enjoy them while you can.

UPDATE: I saw them (cutely) eating their own poop. it was like 2 pups 1 cup.

with my birthday fast approaching I realized the other day that the expiration date on my driver’s license was also fast approaching!

I took this opportunity to visit the handy-dandy nyc dmv license x-press located right on 34th st. I read mixed reviews about the place, how some people breezed right through the process while others took a lot longer, but all in all the people seemed to get their stuff done within an hour so I figured it was still a better option than going to the brooklyn dmv (the last time I renewed my license I pretty much spent all morning and afternoon waiting in 80 lines).

it should be noted that like the rockstar that I am, I went ahead and printed up the forms and had ‘em filled out the night before. a rockstar who reads instructions very carefully, follows every minute rule, dots all his Is and crosses his Ts. and just in case I get asked for other forms of ID I grabbed my passport, social security card, voter card and a utility bill to prove my current address.

shit yeah it’s GO-TIME. the dmv was about to get served.

when I arrived I decided it might be fun to time exactly how long this whole process will take. synchronize watches…

10:49AM: checkpoint 001
the information counter. (politely) flashed my (neatly) filled out mv-44 form. was given a slip of paper to sign and directed over to…

10:50AM: checkpoint 002
the eye exam and photo station. this is where you get your eyes checked, your documents validated and your photo taken. the line was only about 8 people deep but the dude in the front seemed to be having some problems with his docs. he’s definitely not a rockstar. but as soon as mr. stoppage was unclogged the line moved a little better. next thing I knew I was (clearly) enunciating the random letters on the eye exam chart and trying not to look like an ass for the photo that will be my identification for the next 8 years. (btw, you don’t need to bring a passport, a social security card, voter card or a proof of address. the lady called me an overachiever.) I was given a ticket with a number which shall grant me access to the third and final step in this process. now comes the anticipated long ass wait, right? I barely sat down when my number appeared on the display.

11:04AM: checkpoint 003
the “hand over everything that you brought and was given to you today and pony up the money” station. with a glance over the documents and a few clicks of the button I was given an interim license until my real one arrives in the mail in a few weeks.

11:07AM: out tha door, fools
mission accomplished in 18 minutes from start to finish. see you in 2016, license x-press!

top chef season 5 new york premiered tonight! what with the departure of project runway TC will likely take over as my favorite show on bravo.

so as I like to do when a new competition reality show starts up, I pick an early favorite to win the whole thing. I was very closely studying the faces and swaggers of each contestant as they appeared in the opening title sequence and I picked out stefan.

those who saw the show tonight can highlight the box below to see how I feel about my pick so far. others who didn’t see it and do not wish to read spoilers… what the fuck are you doing here? I do nothing BUT drop spoilers.

so yeah.

this is why he’s my president.