espn.com’s page 2 interviewed 2nd year boston celtics point guard delonte west in what he feels constitutes a romantic date. it is mandatory that everyone reads this.

flowers, popeye’s and romance by delonte west

some quotes:

“…we get straight to the point — we eat afterwards because I don’t want to kiss no onions. I don’t want to kiss you tasting like onions and steak and mushrooms and everything.”

“Pop some bottles, some Moet Rose. The red Moet, we ain’t popping no Kristal, it tastes like urination. We ain’t popping no Kris, that’s $500 a bottle. It ain’t that serious.”

“When we’re on the yacht eating, we’re going to have some Popeyes chicken … Yeah, I can wine and dine you, but I’m a little rough around the edges and I’m keeping it real with you. I can be romantic, but this is real, we’re going to eat some chicken tonight. Chicken and biscuits.”

…of all nights for my jedi mind trick to fucking WORK.

but, you know what, it was actually an easy decision to let go of susan. let’s face it, their overnight date and its conversations were awkward at best and all susan brought to the table was her unwavering beauty and a tiny bikini. travis questioned her motivations for being on the show every time he opened his mouth it seemed, so obviously he couldn’t have been too comfortable on this date. and of course susan’s inability to say anything that didn’t sound poorly rehearsed didn’t help matters much either.

let’s see a show of hands of who believes he had already made up his mind before going into this date? it wasn’t so much a “get to know her better” in a romantic sense, but more of a “get to know her true intentions” in a very methodical scientific sense.

so next week all the eliminated girls come to the ABC studios to hash shit out! I’ve been waiting for this episode since the first one ended. I want to see two things happen:

- allie g getting positively roasted
- susan being herself for the first time on the show

who cares what’s going to happen in the season finale? we already know moana’s gonna win this thing.

nyc got a record 26″ of snow and it’s freezing as fuck outside, but all is good because tonight is a new episode of the bachelor.

so tonight we see travis go off on these ridiculous extended one-on-one’s with each of the remaining 3 girls: susanfromkansas, moana, and sarah tennessee.

I’m done trying to use my jedi mind trick to will sarah tennessee off the show. it seems like it’s actually KEEPING her on the show, so tonight my jedi mind trick will be aimed at susanfromkansas.

…though if susan actually does get eliminated I just might throw the tv out of the window.

have you ever read or heard of a play called beyond therapy by christopher durang? it’s brilliant and hilarious and I strongly suggest everyone to read it. or at least read the synopsis from the link. when was the last time I recommended a PLAY? never. so get to it.

anyway I’m currently working on a scene from beyond therapy in my scene study class and it has this one part where the character I’m playing, bruce, sings the opening line from “someone to watch over me.”

now I know this is a fairly popular song and all but it’s definitely not a song I’m familiar with. coupled with the fact that I can’t sing worth shit, this is a bit of a disaster for me.

I got an mp3 of it but having had no prior training (or interest) in singing, I have no idea where to begin in learning how to commit the melody to memory. I’ve been listening to the mp3 a bunch of times and just when I think I have it the tune bleeds out of my brain.

why is it that I can remember annoying jingles or new songs by fave bands and yet I can’t get this goddamn song to stick?

fuck I think I got it. maybe it’s because I’m treating it like an assignment? ok, if that’s so, then how do I get over it? this thing is seriously getting in the way of everything else I need to remember and do for the scene that it’s a huge distraction.

fuck.

so kid A says to kid B “let’s play tag.” kid B agrees. the game begins, kid B quickly catches kid A and tags him. “tag you’re it.” “not uh,” says kid A, “you have to tag me with both hands.” kid B objects, “those aren’t the rules.” “those are the rules we’re playing with now,” claims kid A. he dashes off.

kid B manages to catch kid A again and this time tags him with both hands. kid A begrudgingly accepts being tagged and chases after kid B. kid A tags kid B with one hand. “tag you’re it.” “you didn’t tag me with both hands.” kid A shrugs, “those rules don’t apply to me. and by the way I just won the game, the second person to tag wins.”

this is what it’s like to watch anyone play duke. in the first 4 minutes of the second half against maryland today I saw 4 non-calls and one bogus call going to duke’s favor. wanna know why duke players generally don’t make good pros? because they don’t get the same treatment they did in college and are exposed of the caliber of player they really are.

1. new template
2. new comments feature
3. new link (dry your eye, mike)

yes, I finally caved and turned the comments on. in the immortal words of jimmy chitwood (hoosiers): “I don’t know if it’ll make any change, but I figure it’s time for me to start playing ball.”

so sarah tennessee IS IN THE FINAL THREE. I was shocked as anyone when sarah canada got sent home… too bad he had to give her an excuse so he had to dig out the age difference story. what it comes down to is someone had to go and unfortunately it was her turn this week.

next week they’re going on extended one-on-one dates all over europe. susanfromkansas (whose parents live in north carolina) was abso-fucking-stunning tonight.

so…

uh…

ok, I can’t keep it to myself anymore. I really, really, really do not like susanfromkansas despite her anthemic beauty. everything out of her mouth sounds insincere to me. we found out tonight susan’s fresh off a broken engagement (which she broke) and her parents are really concerned about her true intentions of being on this show. hell, she wants to go to LA to pursue an acting career! is she expecting travis to move out there with her? because tennessee (or colorado, as we found out tonight is where travis is thinking of moving) isn’t exactly hollywood.

on their pre-meeting-the-parents date she often began laying some romantic line on travis only to get stuck in the middle and struggle to make it to the finish. I forget how they went but it was something like “I think we were both put on this earth… (eyes sparkling, searching for something profound) to… have this… (perfect profile silhouetted in the setting sun) amazing… (expertly sculpted eyebrows framing her grey eyes) experience… here.”

sounds to me like she needs more work on her improv.

who’s next to go? I just don’t know anymore with sarah tennessee hanging around for so long. she appears best suited for mom-dom, or at least that’s what she’s making us believe. moana… hell travis could just be in fear of how she’ll react if she’s not picked, if she cries this much for still being in the hunt. susan… clearly the best looking of the bunch. but she IS fresh off a long engagement, she IS looking at moving to hollywood, and travis HAS to be keen on her telling everything he wants to hear.

realistically I think susan will be the next to go. it’s for the best for her career (she’s already had plenty of face time and she won’t be “tied down” in wherever). moana could go because as sweet as she may have turned out to be she seems rather unstable. sarah can go because she’s… just so ordinary and safe.

my prediction: susanfromkansas is eliminated and she won’t appear the least bit bummed.

tonight’s the night travis visits the ladies’ parents! sarah tennessee will be eliminated tonight. you heard it here first.

apparently some football game was on last night. I wouldn’t know, but I did notice some commercials that came on during this time.

if you’re a pedestrian fan like me you probably missed 90% of the commercials. you can catch all (most?) of them at ifilm.com/superbowl.

rewind back 2 weeks or so ago. I had apparently left my AIM on at work and came home and freaked out that SmallTown64 (that would be my aim screen name) was logged on. did someone hack into my aim? (why?) I hastily changed my password and went into work the next day and changed my password there.

now fast forward to 2 nights back. I tried logging on aim at home and I had forgotten my password. I tried everything I could have possibly used as my password and they were all wrong. and since I created this screen name in spring 2000 the email address I used to receive my forgotten password notifications has long since been deleted.

dejected, I began thinking of new names I could use. it was ridiculous to see how many variations of “SmallTown” has already been snatched up. will the real SmallTown please stand up? yeah, fuckers, it’s ME.

and then yesterday I sat down again to try and see if the new password would come back to me. tried a few… then BINGO! HOLY SHIT I’M ON.

so we’re back in business.