damn, I just found out today that you can see who’s been peeping your profile on friendster. sure you have the option of viewing profiles anonymously, but.
then again it can also be kinda sad. a whopping 13 people looked at my profile the month of september. hmph.
random update: I no longer despise the o.c. but I can’t say I like it, either.
so christian surprised me with a cd of mitch hedberg’s comedy routines. I’ve been laughing my ass off (in between sneezing, coughing, and sniffling) at work all day.
if you’re too lazy, here are some of my faves:
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
I wish I could play Little League now, I’d kick butt. I’d be way better than before. They’d back-up now!
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don’t want to eat the fish; they just want to make it late for something. “Why were you late?” “I got caught!” “Bullshit, lemme see the inside of your lip!”
All McDonalds commercials end the same way: “prices and participation may vary.” I want to open my own McDonalds and not participate in anything. I want to be a stubborn McDonalds owner. “Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti!…And blankets. But we are not affiliated with that clown, he attracts too many children.”
On a traffic light, green means “go” and yellow means “yield,” but on a banana it’s just the opposite. Green means “hold on,” yellow means “go ahead,” and red means “Where the fuck did you get that banana at?”
okay, obviously I can go on but I’ll let you just visit that site. and keep this genius’s memory alive.
for the past week or so I’ve been feeling like I’m on the cusp of getting sick. it accelerated this weekend, but I’m trying to keep this bitch at bay.
one of the symptoms of “on the cusp of a cold” appears to be “not blogging in the least bit.” it says so right on the box.
know what else is pretty blah? new music. it’s almost october and there hasn’t been a single release this year that makes me want to do a “top recordings of 2005″ list. you know, the last time I felt this way was back in ‘99 or so when indiepop became completely stagnant.
is it time for a new genre to immerse myself into? and what will that be?
sorry about the delayed follow-up (if anyone cared). blogger wasn’t accessible for a while and I was SO FREAKING BUSY all week.
anyway. what I can tell you of day 2 of JURY DUTY is more or less what happened on day 1, except it has the one kicker of me “dropping the hammer” on the attorneys that left them with absolutely no choice but to cut me loose from jury consideration.
and by this point I’ve personally told everyone who could possibly give a shit about how I pulled it off. so.
yeah. a whole week of non-post and THIS is what you get.
actually … I might say a thing or two about The Exorcism of Emily Rose.
quite an experience, that jury duty. I dutifully jotted down most everything that happened in a little journal being the anal freak (not that kind of anal freak) that I am. you may regret wasting your time reading this.
[08:40] I was cruising right on time for my 8:45 start time. I marched up the New York State Supreme Court steps and waited in line at the security check point. the officers were actually very friendly. though they had these uneasy smiles as if to say “please don’t blow up this building. please.”
[08:50] there must be over a hundred of us all sitting in these VERY NICE PLUSH INDIVIDUAL SEATS. so this is where my tax dollars go (that and the motion sensor flushy toilets). anyway we’re twiddling our thumbs wondering what’s going to happen next. right near me I notice a girl whom I can only describe as “Mischa Barton At Age 23″ and she is rightfully hot. dudes walking up the aisles are totally checking her out. I wonder if they think they’re sneaking sneaky peeks, because they’re doing a fucking horrible job at it.
[09:10] some late stragglers still coming in. fuckers. I rushed out of the house for this?! I’m reading Our Band Could Be Your Life and it’s good.
[09:25] finally they have us watch this orientation VIDEO that has some hilarious “acting” and narrated by diane sawyer.
[10:20] they call up 30 names to be potential jurors in some case. I’m not one of the names called. poo. I’m reading about Black Flag.
[11:00] another 30 names are called up. still not me. (note: mischa barton girl [henceforth MBG] still hasn’t been called either. she’s reading The Five People You Meet In Heaven.)
[12:30] lunch break! back at 2.
[14:05] in the elevator back from lunch. the doors are closing and two lawyer-types are hurrying to get in. I hit the [doors open] button, but they didn’t say thanks. fuckers.
[14:35] YES! called up for a 40-person whopper jury call-up thing. AND it’s in another building! we’re escorted to the neighboring building and walk through a series of corridors. we enter a section of the building marked NARCOTICS DEPARTMENT and I’m thinking “SWEET this is a drug case.” we enter a little court room and we get to fidget around until…
[15:45] …we’re told we can’t talk to anybody about what we’re about to hear. this super secret case, to give you a hint, rhymes with RENTAL-PAL-CACTUS. boo. there are a bunch of lawyers here — I thought there were supposed to be just two? anyway, half of them start yakking at us and…
[16:30] …we’re done for the day! we are to return the next day at 10am sharp. surely there will be stragglers…
TO BE CONTINUED DAMMIT
yeah so tomorrow’s my jury duty. I’m a teentsy bit excited because there’s always that possibility of the case being very interesting, but in the end it’ll probably be like some boring insurance case.
I went out and got Our Band Could Be Your Life to keep me company while they have us sit around all fucking day. it’s ~500 pages long and I tend to read slowly so it ought to do the trick.
cool.
Oh, the Places Antoine’s Shimmy Will Go!
you don’t need to be following the NBA to appreciate this humor. really.