snippet of an AIM conversation with my pal dave:

carmelobrooklyn: watching cnn footage of disaster and looting…
carmelobrooklyn: preceded by luxurious cadillac commercial

so I’ve been freelancing with this one talent agent, see. he has me going to these auditions, mostly print ad auditions.

I get to these auditions and I’m seriously surrounded by morons. absolute morons. the one for yesterday for example, there are signs around the waiting area that say that if you came in for the same audition last week you don’t need to be here (no shit). well, this woman who appears to be coordinating this audition comes out of her office at one point and makes an announcement that reiterates what’s said on the sign.

well this one dude pipes up and is like, “I don’t know if I was here last week.” WHAT. the woman didn’t even blink, probably because she’s so used to this flakiness (usually reserved for a pie crust). the dude’s explanation was that he goes on so many of these things he can’t keep them straight. meanwhile this other dude asked the woman to repeat the announcement, and proceeded to go way deep in thought. what’s to think about? either you were there or you weren’t. and then this conversation took place right next to me between these two dudes who weren’t listening to anything what the other one said. and over on the other end of the room some woman was bitching about the rates she was getting paid as a union extra.

so now I look at the millions of advertisements we’re bombarded with on a daily basis and I wonder what kind of flakes these people are/had to put up with in order to get that gig. and I come out feeling REALLY FUCKING SMART.

something tells me I’m going to have a similar experience when I have my jury duty next week.

because it’s the same machine that’s planning on putting out a FUCKING REMAKE OF BACK TO SCHOOL (starring cedric the entertainer).

that’s why. what a waste of time.

edit
WHAT IN ALL THAT IS HOLY: a FUCKING REMAKE OF THE MUNSTERS?!

did I mention I was going to vegas? well I did. last weekend. and I was so fucking swamped with work all week I couldn’t get around to posting the wrap-up. so for your reading enjoyment here are the things I learned about vegas/life outside of nyc:

- there are many (bleached) blonde women in america.
- women, who do not work in the adult entertainment industry, can also get breast enhancements.
- bagels outside of nyc taste like round bread with a hole in the middle.
- 100+ degrees is HOT AS FUCK dry heat or not.
- a cab ride from anywhere to anywhere in vegas costs a minimum of $10.
- if an artist has been run into the ground by mainstream america he/she has some sort of residency at one of the hotel venues.
- in-n-out burgers are every bit as good as they are billed to be.

I think that about covers it.

ps- before you ask, yes I won some money. $150 at blackjack.

[edit]
pps- I had kelly clarkson’s “since you’ve been gone” stuck in my head for most of the trip for no apparent reason. I felt this was worthy of mention/following up.

so I just read on the legion of doom website that their album’s not coming out until january 24, 2006.

TWO THOUSAND SIX?! fuuuck. we’re gonna be living side by side by aliens by then goddammit. that or we’d be enslaved by an alien race.

oh and TLOD are now saying to tide us over they’re releasing a 12″. uh, do they know who their market is? kids who listen to the bands TLOD do mashups with have never even seen a turntable, with the exception of the rare linkin park live footage or something (yeah). and who plays vinyl these days? DJs. and when’s the last time you went to a party where blasting from autumn to ashes was appropriate? right. never.

oh well. let’s begin the countdown. five months and… however many days.

since when did jay mohr start writing for SI.com? today he wrote an article called Four foolproof ways to figure out if your team stinks and holy shit it’s hilarious.

ps- I just found the answer to my question. jay is filling in for a staff writer who’s gone for a month.

I am still at work!

my first ever jury summons came in the mail yesterday! I must mark my calendar down for tuesday september 6.

hiho.

[edit: what? you don't get the measley stipend if your employer pays you on your jury days?]

so cnn is reporting martha stewart’s home confinement’s been extended until the end of august. the article states:

…those conditions include staying inside her home north of New York City except for 48 hours a week of employment, food shopping, doctor appointments and church.

uh, it’s no secret that she’s (at least) been seen at restaurants in my neighborhood. so who’s lying, the media or martha?

did I just blow her cover? oops.

remember that post I made about the twins named JAMES and SEMAJ?

well you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. get your eyeballs ready to roll for Couple Names Baby after Three Spurs (that would be the nba’s san antonio spurs).